~silverfox-furry

I am so bummed, my subscription ends in 3 days... Oh well, thanks DA for the gift subscription. Hope that I will be a subscriber again soon.

uhm... when did I become a subscriber and for what reason? Its cool, no doubt. Ah, it was 5 months ago.

I never talk about this much, actually I have never talked about it. Yesterday on Saturday, I went out with some friends on a road trip to San Francisco.

We had done this a month before with the same intentions, drinking and drugs. Last time we went, I got high on marijuana and drove home stoned. After that day, I was depressed for about 2 weeks, constantly wanting to end my life, but never quite knowing how to do it, so I wrote poetry.

So, yesterday, we went back to San Francisco with the intention of smoking some grass and getting high. Well, we did at about noonish. About 2 hours later, still a little baked from the last joint, I lit up a second. Boy did I have a great hour and a half with my friend, who was tripping on shrooms.

3 hours later, we were sitting in the car trying to get my friend to understand where we were going. We finally got him to understand, albeit barely, and we were on the road home. We arrived back at around 6:30 and now I am sitting here, at 11:20, typing this and hoping that I won't have to post it.

Speaking of depression, I am back in a dip in the road of life and not feeling to great. Not that I wish to end my life, but I just feel that it is the best solution in these horribly depressing days. Help give me strength to continue on with life. I will end this post with some lyrics from Queen that seem to capture my feelings perfectly:

-Goodbye Cruel World-

Goodbye cruel world
I'm leaving you today.
Goodbye,
Goodbye,
Goodbye.

Goodbye all your people,
There's nothing you can say
to make me change my mind,
Goodbye.

I just don't have a firm grasp of reality, I am a mess.

He who is paranoid loses everything.
He who is calm and cool has the world to gain.
-SilverFox

I have just been having the most stressful week ever. I have been wanting to leave everything and flying out to some remote city in the mid US and severing all contacts with everyone that I knew. Also been a little sui.

"Ok, so right now, I am grounded from my computer. This means that I will not be updating this as often as I would like (i.e. no new pages/content.) Do not forget about me, as I will still be updating the news area as often as I can."

Taken from my site.

And then I tried to open up a text editor and add that to the site. If you look at my front page, it is now a mess of code and content. And I won't have my computer back for a while... >_>